Perfidious
by Desiqtie
Summary: AU. The unfaithful woman, if she is known for such by the person concerned, is only unfaithful. If she is thought faithful, she is perfidious. Jean de la Bruyere. Starring: girl!Harry & alive!Marauders. Inspired by Cruel Intentions.
1. Perfidious

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. I also make no money off of any of this!

Prompt: Cheat

Word Count: 1,478 words

Summary: Maria (girl!Harry) is out having a romantic dinner with her boyfriend (pick male character of your choice) when she finds out Sirius is home after six months away. Why he was away isn't really important, you can make something up if you really want.

P.S. This doesn't fit in the One Wishverse…it's just a random short story. Maria/Harry is a Gryffindor and best friends with Ron and Hermione. But Lily and James are still alive. In case you were wondering. :-P! Also, yes Maria is a bi-atch in this and Sirius is a jerk...but hey, everyone has flaws, yeah?

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Raising an eyebrow, Maria looked around the restaurant. It was unnecessarily extravagant, not the sort of place she enjoyed. Further proof it was time to ditch the man she was with. With a weak smile, she turned to the pleased young man, "It's…very romantic." 

Beaming, he replied, "I know! I thought it's the perfect place for our date, since we've been together for over four months! We have a serious, adult relationship and I thought we should, you know, celebrate."

She looked at him for a moment; stunned he could be so oblivious to her true feelings, "Right. Celebrate." The maître d' came over and, with a flirtatious smirk at the girl-who-lived, he showed them to a table.

"Um, can't we get one of those corner tables? This one's sort of in the middle of everything, its not very romantic…" Trailing off he looked between Maria and the maître d', who were shamelessly flirting. "Uh, Maria?"

Sighing she turned back to her boyfriend and replied, "The table's fine. I don't see why we need to move to some shadowy corner."

"It would be more romantic and-"

Rolling her eyes, she abruptly cut him off, "This whole place is plenty romantic."

He opened his mouth to argue but apparently thought better of it. Instead, he turned to the maître d', "Could we get a menu? Oh, and drinks. We'd like drinks."

The maître d' sniffed, and turned to Maria, "Miss Potter, what shall I get you?"

"Oh, call me Maria." She winked at him and continued, "and I will have a cherry syrup and soda."

He smiled at her and replied, "I am Pierre, mon chéri. I shall bring you your drink right away."

He then began to walk away, "Hey! Wait! What about my drink?"

With an irritated frown the maître d' turned back and rudely asked, "What do you want?"

"Um, what's available?" Incredulously, the maître d' stared at the man before turning to look at Maria who shrugged apologetically in reply.

Pierre glared at the young man and said, "We have everything. We are THE premier magical restaurant in England."

"Um, can I have some butterbeer?"

Scoffing, the maître d' replied, "I will send the server with your drink." He then left to get Maria's drink.

The young man reached for Maria's hand but she quickly pulled her hand down into her lap. Indecisively, he asked, "So, uh, how was your day?"

"It was fine."

"Oh, that's good." He fidgeted in the awkward silence while she simply looked around impassively. "So, uh my day was pretty good. Guess why!" He waited for Maria to say something, but she ignored him. "Maria?"

"Mmm. Sorry. Did you say something?"

"Uh. No, never mind. It's not really important."

"Alright." The two sat in silence, waiting for the maître d' to bring their drinks.

"Mon chéri, your cherry syrup and soda." With a smile, Maria took the drink from the maître d'.

"Thank you Pierre."

He smiled at her and said, "You are most welcome. Sadly, I must return to help the other customers, but I have asked our best server to personally see you have an excellent time while you are here."

Maria was about to thank him again, but before she could, the young man spoke up, "What about my butterbeer?"

"What?"

"My butterbeer? You haven't brought me my drink." The maître d' frowned at him but still motioned to a server. Once the server had walked over, Pierre told him to bring the young man a butterbeer. The server wrinkled his nose but fetched the drink and set it down in front of the young man.

The maître d' asked, "You are satisfied now?" Without waiting for a reply, Pierre turned to Maria and smiling, made his excuses and left.

"Well, the waiter was pretty rude. I thought this was supposed to be a fancy place."

"Maître d'."

"What?"

"He was the maître d', not the waiter. The server is the waiter, he's the one that brought you the butterbeer."

"Oh. Well, still they were both pretty rude, don't you think?" She shrugged and didn't reply. The young man searched for a topic they could discuss while she sipped on her cherry flavored drink. As he looked around the restaurant, his eyes fell on a young woman making her way to their table.

"Hey isn't that your friend, Hermione?" She looked up startled and seeing that it was in fact Hermione, gave a relieved smile.

"Yeah that's Hermione. I wonder what she's doing here." Hermione quickly marched up to their table.

Before either one of the girls could say anything, they young man asked, "Hermione, how are you?"

Completely ignoring him, Hermione instead turned to Maria, who asked, "Hermione? What are you doing here?"  
"You have to head over to your parents, Sirius just got back!"

"He's back, really?"

Grinning, Maria's best friend nodded and pulled her out of her seat, "Come on! He's been asking where you were." Laughing, Maria and Hermione threw a few galleons down to pay for Maria's drink and ran out off the restaurant. The young man stood to follow after his girlfriend and her best friend.

Before he could even take a step, the maître d' blocked his path, "Your friend has paid for her drink, not yours! You pay, then you go!" With an irritated glance at the maître d', he threw the galleons onto the table and ran after the girls. By the time he came out of the restaurant they were both already gone. Sighing he decided to start checking with her friends before he went to her family. He didn't really like her parents. He often felt as if they were laughing at him and mocking him to his face. He didn't understand most of the inside jokes they all had, but he understood the gist of them. Of course, her friends behaved much the same way, but well, it was somehow less insulting from them. At least they usually tried not to insult him to his face.

* * *

He had vainly hoped he'd be able to avoid going to her parents. He knew she was close with the Weasley family so he went to the Burrow first. When he dropped by the Burrow, Molly Weasley had given him a pitying smile and told him Maria would be at Godric's Hollow. She had also suggested that he 'let it go' and wait until Maria owled him. One look at the engagement ring in his pocket and he knew he had to go after Maria. Despite her strange behavior at the restaurant, he knew she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. If Hermione hadn't interrupted, they would probably already have been engaged by now. Smiling dreamily at the thought of Maria as his wife, he apparated over to Godric's Hollow. Her parents hadn't keyed him into the wards, so he had to walk all the way up the path, rather than apparating to the front door. He knocked on the door and was let in by a house-elf, Doddy or Doppy or something. He wasn't quite sure of its name, perhaps Dobby? Before he could thank the creature, it had rolled its eyes at him and popped away. He sighed at the insulting behavior he had come to expect at this house, and walked through the doorway. He immediately saw that Maria was standing, merely a few feet in front of him. Smiling, he opened his mouth to announce his presence, when another man stepped up to her. The young man frowned and stepped back, wondering who the mysterious interloper was.

* * *

Sirius wrapped an arm around Maria's waist and pulled her into his arms. She hugged him back and then turned, wrapping one arm around his waist. He in turn wrapped his arm around her waist and glanced back over her shoulder at the lost-looking, young man hovering in the doorway. "Who's the friend?" 

"Hmm?" She gave a dismissive wave of her hand, not even bothering to turn and acknowledge the man she had been dating for the past four months. "Oh, him? Just some guy I've been dating, not important. I want to know about your trip! You've been gone for six months! Details, please!" The young man's expression fell; he had obviously heard Maria's callous words. Crushed he turned his gaze to Sirius, perhaps expecting some sympathy. He should have known better as Sirius only smirked at him and pulled Maria even closer.

"No one important? That's good, I'd be devastated if you ever replaced me."

Laughing, Maria replied, "Replace you? Aw, Siri you know you're the only man I'll ever love! I could never replace you!" Grinning, Sirius made eye contact with the young man over her shoulder. Then, he leaned down and kissed Maria lovingly, possessively.

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As always, read after you review please! Let me know what you think... 


	2. Small

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter, its characters and settings are the copyrighted works of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., her publishing companies and affiliates. No profit was made from the writing of this story nor was any malice intended in any way, shape, or form to the author or the actors/actresses who so brilliantly have brought them to life. This author is not responsible for underage readers. Please observe the ratings, warnings, and age of legal consent for your country.

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A/N: I have no idea where this came from. It's 315 words so too long to be a drabble, but too short to be a real chapter sooo I guess it's a random scene that will maybe someday be fleshed out more? Possibly set in the same universe as Perfidious? Or One Wish? Or maybe even LTBAH? I haven't decided yet...

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**Title:** Small  
**Rating:** PG13 for language  
**Summary: **Umm...I dunno. Order party at the Potter's home and Maria's ex-boyfriend (Derek), who is also a former classmate of James's shows up. James did not approve of the relationship and finally get's to work out some of his rage. BTW, Maria = girl!Harry + this story has alive!Marauders & Lily.  
**Beta:** No Beta, but if you want to volunteer, I'd be very grateful!

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Infuriated, James reared back and decked Derek. The bewildered former Ravenclaw went flying, landing sprawled half on the patio and half in the rosebushes. Gaping, he raised himself onto his elbows, one hand going to his jaw - which was already bruising. "Wha-what was that for?"

Murderous, James hissed, "If you ever even think of touching my daughter again I will rip off your balls, puree them in a blender, and stuff them so far up your arse they pour out of your nose!" Nostrils flaring, he made to hit Derek again, but Remus and Peter hastily stepped forward and pulled him back.

As the rest of the Order gaped in shock, Maria spoke up, "Alright, yes, thank you, so he wasn't exactly my best dating decision ever - but did you really have to hit him?"

"Look on the bright side..."

Curious, she turned to Sirius and asked, "Yes?"

With a careless shrug, he replied, "Oh, I don't know what the bright side is, but people always say to look there."

Maria rolled her eyes sarcastically, "Thanks Sirius, that's really helpful."

Always cheerful, Sirius simply grinned at his goddaughter, "No problem!"

"Annnnnyways, Derek, I'm sorry for Dad hitting you."

"Uhh, it's okay, I guess?"

"Although...really, this is more then half your own fault."

"Wha-my fault! How and, uh, why!"

"Yes! I mean, if you would've just, you know, warned me, that you have a micro-penis, I wouldn't have laughed as hard as I did when you took your pants off. And then Dad wouldn't have heard us and walked in and that whole...nasty incident could have been avoided. You should just be more honest in the future."

Sirius sniggered, "You laughed when he took his pants off?"

"Well, it's not my fault! You would've laughed too!" Leaning closer, she whispered, a mischievous smirk barely hidden, while miming the size with her fingers held an inch apart, "It's reaaaally small. Like...miniscule."

While James fumed at the thought of someone corrupting his sweet, innocent, little baby-girl, Sirius and Remus tittered in amusement, and Derek turned purple with both fury and embarrassment mingling on his face, Lily turned to her only child, gently admonishing, "Maria, really!"

"Whaaat? I speak only the truth, Mother."

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A/N: Like I said...no idea where this came from. But please review anyways...even if you just want to tell me I have a twisted mind :D! If you want more girl!Harry, OW: Beginnings is going to be updated with chapter 21 probably either tonight or tomorrow morning...


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